Are you a spineless copycat without an authentic, respectable bone in your body? Do you look to others for your self worth, to the point of lying to yourself in a pitiful attempt at legitimacy? When you look in the mirror, does it pain you to look into your own eyes, do you hate yourself that much?
Well, we've got the product for you!
As you likely know, buying a proper turbocharged car from a real auto manufacturer is expensive and time consuming to maintain. Even worse and more expensive is converting a car or upgrading the turbochargers on an original turbo car - the heat and pressure basically making your wallet burn and explode!
Be the envy of all your friends, respect yourself, and even your own mother will quit denying she birthed you...WITH OUR NEW HIGH PERFORMANCE TURBO SIMULATOR VALVE!
While your "high brow" friends are slaving over their turbo conversions, and rich guys are wasting all that money on their twin turbo Porsches and dating super models, you can quickly and easily create a simulated turbo sound in the convenience of your apartment carport or your parents driveway! Simply pull the thumb out of your own ass and use it to screw the thumbscrew tight around your chrome exhaust tip.
Quick and easy to install, probably won't fall off, and most importantly, bring legitimacy to your image with our TURBO SIMULATOR VALVE.
NOTE - IF YOU ARE STUPID ENOUGH TO BUY THIS, WE WILL CHARGE YOUR CREDIT CARD AND NEVER SHIP YOUR ORDER AS WE WOULDN'T BE CAUGHT DEAD STOCKING SUCH A RIDICULOUS PRODUCT AT OUR FACILITY